I'm getting real, SQUEEMISH BEWARE!!

So I was over at Twig and Toadstool and I noticed a post titled "Let's Get Real".  Intrigued I decided to check it out.   I found a beautiful goddess-like mama, Maureen, bearing her true self to all the blog community.  I thought how brave, how bold, how daring, how liberating.... I knew I was going to have to give it a go.  She was so much better at being kind to herself than I am but I will to my best to be a very real KRISTIN NICOLE LUTZ (this is my full birth name, despite the marriage and the alias of Kat) while keeping the negativity to a minimum.  So here goes a glimpse of me and my very real, not all fun, morning...

Here's the REAL mess in my dinning room.  Oil soaked watercolor paper for later, grumpy baby, impatient kiddo waiting on me to play batman uno, and my savior: coffee!

Some of what makes me who I am today: the ashes of my little sister and giant papa, my grandmother's musical statue (i could hum that tune in my sleep!), great grandmother's tea pot I use for my tea leaf reading set, my coffee, my messy room..

and here I am, not the worst picture I have ever taken, it show the necklace (i can't get off) that free made just because he loves me, aww

Making faces

Including this one that you will NEVER see again.  This is the "Disney princess smile".  A look I have loathed being captured for most of my life! But this is what I look like when I REALLY smile.  It's a rarity!

This is what happens whenever I go to do anything: child induced interruptions...

Free is such an attention hog!

And Cy was teething today (bye bye vampire fangs) so any time I set him down this is what happened.  It's enough to drive any mom to this...

This is apparently what I look like after 5 hours of skirt pulling.  I was going to my "happy place" for a second.  Can't show you the shots of me skirt less, this is a G rated blog.  However I eventually had enough and just dropped the skirt next to our dining table in the hopes that maybe the swishy fabric was attracting him.  No such luck!

This is what I look like chastising Free for playing with the camera, but since we are getting real, this is the real lecture face.

and this is the real working/concentrating face.  I decided to try to do something better, fix my deeply embedded self esteem issues, return to my roots...

I decided to put a reminder for myself whenever I am looking in the mirror,

 full of doubt and self loathing...

To see beyond the reflection to the woman who is not just making due but is doing the best she can.  The woman who is raising 2 kids, caring for one man/big kid, tending house, "going green", and still trying to remember who she was 7 years ago.  That free spirit, go anywhere, do anything, love everyone, begrudge nothing girl is still deep inside this woman, no matter how many stretch marks she has, pounds she gains/loses or "laugh lines" she sees in the mirror.

 This is the culmination of who I am.

A girl in a woman's body trying to see the best but ever apprehensive at the reflection.