Wednesday, July 21, 2010

I'm getting real, SQUEEMISH BEWARE!!

So I was over at Twig and Toadstool and I noticed a post titled "Let's Get Real".  Intrigued I decided to check it out.   I found a beautiful goddess-like mama, Maureen, bearing her true self to all the blog community.  I thought how brave, how bold, how daring, how liberating.... I knew I was going to have to give it a go.  She was so much better at being kind to herself than I am but I will to my best to be a very real KRISTIN NICOLE LUTZ (this is my full birth name, despite the marriage and the alias of Kat) while keeping the negativity to a minimum.  So here goes a glimpse of me and my very real, not all fun, morning...

Here's the REAL mess in my dinning room.  Oil soaked watercolor paper for later, grumpy baby, impatient kiddo waiting on me to play batman uno, and my savior: coffee!

Some of what makes me who I am today: the ashes of my little sister and giant papa, my grandmother's musical statue (i could hum that tune in my sleep!), great grandmother's tea pot I use for my tea leaf reading set, my coffee, my messy room..

and here I am, not the worst picture I have ever taken, it show the necklace (i can't get off) that free made just because he loves me, aww

Making faces

Including this one that you will NEVER see again.  This is the "Disney princess smile".  A look I have loathed being captured for most of my life! But this is what I look like when I REALLY smile.  It's a rarity!

This is what happens whenever I go to do anything: child induced interruptions...
Free is such an attention hog!

And Cy was teething today (bye bye vampire fangs) so any time I set him down this is what happened.  It's enough to drive any mom to this...

This is apparently what I look like after 5 hours of skirt pulling.  I was going to my "happy place" for a second.  Can't show you the shots of me skirt less, this is a G rated blog.  However I eventually had enough and just dropped the skirt next to our dining table in the hopes that maybe the swishy fabric was attracting him.  No such luck!

This is what I look like chastising Free for playing with the camera, but since we are getting real, this is the real lecture face.

and this is the real working/concentrating face.  I decided to try to do something better, fix my deeply embedded self esteem issues, return to my roots...

I decided to put a reminder for myself whenever I am looking in the mirror,
 full of doubt and self loathing...

To see beyond the reflection to the woman who is not just making due but is doing the best she can.  The woman who is raising 2 kids, caring for one man/big kid, tending house, "going green", and still trying to remember who she was 7 years ago.  That free spirit, go anywhere, do anything, love everyone, begrudge nothing girl is still deep inside this woman, no matter how many stretch marks she has, pounds she gains/loses or "laugh lines" she sees in the mirror.

 This is the culmination of who I am.
A girl in a woman's body trying to see the best but ever apprehensive at the reflection.


  1. Beautiful post! I love what you've done with the mirror, we all need constant reminding.

    Yyour goddess is shining through today for sure.


  2. a beautiful post! honesty really is best. i'd love to post pics of my messy dining room but i don't want someone calling cps. ;) thank you for your kind words, kat. i have been enjoying your blog as well and i sincerely appreciate your support!
    kim, or not blessed mama

  3. A beautiful post indeed. I can certainly relate to the skirt pulling picture ... I have one of those around here LOL!

  4. Im so glad that you did keep blogging and i must say that i struggle with confidence myself. Im shy and i realy wish i wasnt. I realy love this post especialy the beautiful words to yourself in the mirror, Ive been getting my paints out lately, i think i mite paint some affirmations on my mirrors around the house, thanks for inspiring me as always!

  5. Oh Kat! You are a stunning and brave mamma! I LOVE that you went one step further and posted those pictures of your house first thing in the morning...that first picture of your kids, (and your son waiting to play batman uno...oh my...priceless! and SO real!!!)
    Talk about a goddess...well...there YOU are!!!
    Love that message in the mirror too! I'm SO enjoying seeing who these women are behind the blogs...thank you for sharing your beautiful self with us all! Here's so some serious self lovin!!!
    xoxoxoxoxo maureen

  6. Thanks ladies, your too kind. I really appreciate your sweet reassurance! Where would I be without my mammas?

  7. Awesome post! I LOVE the real "squeamish" you, disney princess smile and all &;0D
    The mirror paintings are wonderful.

    I think I'm going to have to have a go at this next week .. if I'm feeling brave enough!

  8. this is a great post. VERY brave isn't it? great idea with the mirror!

    i also understand your emotions of a skirt-pulling baby after many hours.
    oh, and i love your skirt.

  9. what a lovely post! you are beautiful! i love that big smile!!! don't hide it, girl. ;) i love that you dropped your skirt. i can see myself trying that, too. i also love that you took us through various parts of your day. you are so brave and beautiful!

    i really struggled with this one so i think my post has the fewest words of any post on my blog.

  10. You are beautiful goddess mama! Your smile is wonderful, really, it's perfect!! This is a brave and fantastic post, I love it.
    Thanks for being my bloggy friend :)

  11. You really shouldn't hide your lights up your face!

  12. I love all the different pictures here, how we get a sense of you, who you are alone and in different situations. I often feel flustered with my 11-month-old daughter too!

    You have a beautiful heart-shaped face and lovely smile :).

  13. that's funny, not the part of my body I generally hear refered to as heart-shaped. haha! My husband says I have a "cookie face" because it's so round. Boys can be so good at instilling new insecurities in us each day without even trying. Why didn't I go for the strong and silent type? Just kiddin Johnny I love ya more than ever, as always ; *

  14. i love the fact that you've shared your mess! if any of my mess is showing in a given photo i either don't share it OR crop it out. good for you! :D

    i also love that you've put messages on her mirrors!! i will have to do that for myself and my girls.

    lovely post. thanks for sharing you!

  15. oh yes. sweet honesty is a rarity these days. thank you for the refreshing post...all too often, things are a little *too* beautiful in "blogland" that they seem to be a bit unreal!...glad to have found your site!

  16. You are beautiful!

    Just did mine too!

  17. Kristin you are beatiful! Your bad pics even look wonderful! You are a wonderful mother, a superior friend, and a beautiful person in general! You're inner goddess ALWAYS shines through! I love you!!!

  18. Wow! This is so great... I love how much of your surroundings you include, and of course, the child-led interruptions!! LOL!

    The picture of you in your room, surrounded by all your history especially touched me... just seeing so much of your process creating these photos was a blessing to me.


  19. I think the world needs more people,take care.


Feel free to leave your piece of mind here with me. I always look forward to reading the sweet thoughts you leave behind. I will respond here so keep an eye open... thanks for taking the time, it is always appreciated. Blessings!